Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.

– Don Marquis

Beer is proof God loves us, and wants us to be happy.

Beer is the reason I get out of bed every afternoon.

– Anonymous

The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom.

– William Blake

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

– Henry Lawson

I’m going to buy a boat… do a little traveling, and I’m going to be drinking beer

– John Welsh
(Brooklyn bus driver who won $30 million in the NY lottery)

Alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.

– Homer Simpson

All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.

– Homer Simpson

Lois: Oh Peter, you’ve been drinking again.
Peter: Nah, I’m just exhausted cause I’ve been drinking all night.

– Family Guy TV Show

I’m not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment … and a stomach virus … and an inner ear infection.

– Brian, The Family Guy TV Show

First of all: If it wasn’t for beer there were at least three persons who probably wouldn’t even be married: me, Jefferson, and probably Lisa Marie Presley.

– Al Bundy, Married With Children

We drink and we die and continue to drink.

– Dennis Leary

Since men buy beer, advertisers have to cater to what we want, and hold on to your corn cob pipe, we like pretty women. That’s why pretty women sell good things and ugly women sell… tennis raquets. Pretty woman cars, ugly woman mini vans. Pretty woman make us buy beer, UGLY WOMAN MAKE US DRINK BEER!!!

– Married with Children, Al Bundy

Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and celebrate the good days.

– Ancient Egyptian proverb

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

– Rodney Dangerfield

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?

The best place to drink beer is at home. Or on a river bank, if the fish don’t bother you.